Equals Mortified

Idk why i feel like i need to explain this right right now of all times.
I sometimes remember- i should explain this!
And then i forget.

Many many years ago, when the internet was AOL, i used the = sign invariably to represent eyes, the way people today use the : sign.
Some of you may remember that once famous show “equals 3” as in “=3”.
WELL i always thought it was a cat, you know, with the eyes and the chubby cheeks…?
I used to sign my emails that way.
Then one day, not sure why, my husband saw it and said, Why are you typing penis?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: That emoticon. It’s a penis.
Me: No it’s not. It’s a cat. You know, like the YouTube show. Equals Cat.
Him: *tilts head* Yeah i guess in a really innocent person’s mind that could be a cat but on the show, it’s a penis.

Thus i came to find out i had been signing my emails “Have a great day! Penis, Ave.”

Awkward Work Moments

Awkward Work Moments is when you are making small talk with a customer who works where you used to work and you casually ask them questions about their coworkers to see if you can find out anything new about your old crush and it turns out they work very closely with the mother of your old crush, after which your face turns red, the customer peers her eyes at you, and you try to pretend you just wanted information about continuing education, that is when you know you’re living another AWKWARD WORK MOMENT.