Idk why i feel like i need to explain this right right now of all times.
I sometimes remember- i should explain this!
And then i forget.
Many many years ago, when the internet was AOL, i used the = sign invariably to represent eyes, the way people today use the : sign.
Some of you may remember that once famous show “equals 3” as in “=3”.
WELL i always thought it was a cat, you know, with the eyes and the chubby cheeks…?
I used to sign my emails that way.
Then one day, not sure why, my husband saw it and said, Why are you typing penis?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: That emoticon. It’s a penis.
Me: No it’s not. It’s a cat. You know, like the YouTube show. Equals Cat.
Him: *tilts head* Yeah i guess in a really innocent person’s mind that could be a cat but on the show, it’s a penis.
Thus i came to find out i had been signing my emails “Have a great day! Penis, Ave.”
Once upon a time there was a young woman who worked packing dental instruments.
One day she didn’t have time to get breakfast or lunch so
I she snuck a bag of jalapeño chips in her purse under her desk.
She started packing dental instruments and eating jalapeño chips at the same time (!!!)
They were supposed to be sterilized before use but then everyone realized how good they tasted and the woman kept eating jalapeño chips forever as the product’s popularity grew and grew.
Ironically the reason she didn’t get a chance to eat lunch was because she herself had a dental appointment.
But those instruments didn’t taste good at all.
Are you an amateur poet who recently took up writing as a result of a breakup?
Do you see yourself as the protagonist of your own movie script?
Are you passionate about social issues that you research on Facebook but are otherwise oblivious to?
Are you in the habit of liking every post without reading it just to get more page visits on your own blog?
Do you blindfold yourself and then type random characters at your keyboard for several minutes?
If you or someone you know identifies with any of these, please nominate them for my new award:
The Stop Blogging Award.
This award is designed to give recognition to all sorts of authors, but mostly just the bad ones.
If you’re not sure if you qualify, feel free to private message me and I will pretend to be happy to read what you write.
After all, isn’t that what the WordPress community is all about?
This is a poem,
A poem about
The girl who had nothing to do.
She was a bit bored
Chewing on a cord
So she tied it back on her shoe.
She rolled off her bed
Looking for Ed-
An Ed she never once knew.
So she looked instead
Deep inside her head.
That bored her an awful lot too.
She went out to plow,
Made friends with a cow.
They took turns saying, “Moo, moo.”
They fell on the grass.
As she scratched her ass,
She asked why the sky is blue.
When the phone would ring
She just had to sing,
“Hello, is this Dr. Who?”
But it was quiet.
Hoax of a riot.
Reality can be untrue.
She ate the candy.
Belonged to some Andy.
Some not so easy to chew.
And once that was done,
Put her hair in a bun,
Watched the clock for an hour or two.
What’s that, you say?
A heck of a day?
She lives life without a clue?
Well guess what, Amigo…
Quiere estar contigo,
And she also writes poems about you.