Tag Archives: musings

Triangles and Sandwiches

Today was kind of a funny day. I ran into my old high school crush and i invited him to lunch with me and my husband and my little teenage girl friend. We were at a church event in the parking lot.

He was a lot quieter than when i last talked to him aone. But that’s understandable- he’s always been on the cautious side of words, and he might have been nervous about finally meeting my husband.

We were pretty close in high school, but a year after his graduation, he eloped with an older woman. Didn’t hear from him for 19 years, until last summer, when they moved back to the west coast.

Early on in the conversation, i noticed my friend’s (a.k.a. soulmate’s) car parked a few feet away. The windows were open. I didn’t see anyone inside and since he is in the habit of leaving his car unlocked, i started to plan what joke i would play on him, all the while my husband and my high school crush got to know each other better.

Finally i announced that i was going to play a joke on my friend, but my husband and little teenage girl friend cautioned me that he was probably asleep inside the car. They were right. Though i really can’t confirm that he was asleep. It is quite possible that he’d been eavesdropping the whole time.

So i scratched the joke. But when i realized that he could probably hear everything we were saying, i wondered at our curious circumstances. There i was with the man i am legally bound to in this life, reconnecting with the first man i ever thought i loved, being listened to by the man i wish i could be with.

The day would have been strange enough with just one or the other, but all three?

My husband was very cordial to my high school crush, and nice to me all day. That was a relief.

But every now and then i see him a little worried about my relationship with my soulmate. Like today after the whole ordeal, when i went up to my friend’s car, knocked, and gave him a granola bar. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. He has his life/family. I have mine. We are never alone. There is no occasion for anything else to develop.

Then again, life does have a very funny way of bringing people together. But nah.

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My Life As A Tumblr Cone Avatar

I’ve been reduced to a Cone avatar on Tumblr. But i’ll be ok. It’s for the best. I spent way too much time writing depressing bits of my day, exploring imaginary platonic relationships.

I only had like three followers. The rest were porn spambots.

How do porn spambots flourish on a site that blurs a picture of a cat dressed as Captain America?

I had trouble logging into this WordPress account because i thought i had used a fake email. Turns out it was my real email all along.

On the bright side, now i get to delight you, WordPress Reader, with the best depressing bits of my day. And all the juicy details of my “love life” which has built up so much potential over the years.

I am now an aspiring amateur musician. I was already an amateur musician before, but now that i’ve realized how much better than me other guitarists are, i’ve demoted myself to aspiring amateur. Musician.

Remember the guy i used to write Latin poetry for? Like 7 years ago? No? I googled him the other day. He’s married now. To his girlfriend. The one he left me for. When we were building our bond as ex-coworkers.

I have since found my soulmate, but he weaves in and out of my life like a hungry cat. Every time he distances himself from me, i have filled the void with my studies of classical music.

I am the most improved student in my class.

Today i walked into a music store and there was a guitarist there talking me up, like i totally thought- He’s going to ask me out.

Then i started to play and he must have seen my wedding ring because he left without getting my number.

I almost ran after him just to ask if he didn’t want it.

Of course, i wouldn’t have given it to him. I’m married.

I went to a Dance Club meeting today at the community college. I’ve been enrolled since last semester but i hadn’t been there in three months. The guy in charge is a really sweet kid. He makes choreography fit for his age. I cannot keep up with him. But it’s fun to try.

None of the dance professors will take responsibility for the club so we end up dancing out on the grass. We used to practice by the Performing Arts building, but too many teachers complained their students were ogling at us.

Hardly anyone meets anymore. Today there was a guy who wanted me to play guitar instead of dancing. He plays keyboard. Or is learning to. I think he was there by mistake?

Then he left and Tito (the club organizer) and i went outside to practice. He wants me to take Zumba classes to get in better shape.

…Boy, this is probably why no one meets. Choreography is too damn fast.

But it’s fun.

Maybe i should keep using my tumblr account and just write from the point of view of a Cone.