World Introvert Day may be one of a handful of holidays i celebrate:
Jan. 2nd – World Introvert Day (as of today, when i realized it existed)
Second Sunday in March – When the clocks all get distorted and the day has 25 hours
March 20th/ Spring Equinox – When i sacrifice a virgin to the sun
April 1st – April Fool’s Day (and the following day when i meet bail)
April 7th – National Beer Day (US)
May 25th – National Wine Day (US)
June 2nd – National Doughnut Day (US)
July 7th – World Chocolate Day
Sept. 10th – World Suicide Day (or is it suicide prevention? i think i’ve been doing it wrong)
Oct. 29th – National Cat Day (US)
And probably my wedding anniversary ought to be up ^ there somewhere.
So to celebrate World Introvert Day, i will give you a sneak peek into the interior of my amazing mind, because let’s face it- i am awesome.
(1) Everything, absolutely everything, has a song or can have a song. My mind is the stage of a never-ending musical.
(2) I always picture worse-case scenarios. Chances are, if we’ve ever spoken, i was simultaneously picturing at least one form in which you might have horrifyingly died in a sudden freak accident while listening to you. And usually the more i care about you, the more horrific deaths i picture. With a choir singing in the background. But if you’re a boring conversationalist or if you’re explaining something important, then i just picture a chimp with an accordion on a unicycle, or those flying elephants from Fantasia.
(3) I eat all day. If an hour passes without me putting something into my mouth, i will get fidgety. If five hours pass without me consuming anything, i will get a terrible tension headache and all hell will break loose. This is why i always carry a whip with me. (Well- the other thing too).
(4) I tend to accidentally speed read and then when i realize it, if i actually want to go back and conscientiously read an entire long paragraph- it can take me between 15-30 minutes because i will continuously get distracted. I attribute this to an excess of awful bad modern authors and i do not believe i would get distracted in the least bit if only they would
(5) On the other hand, when i remember something i read, i remember all the numbers involved and the font that was used.
(6) I have very vivid dreams which are mostly about how much people love me, but it’s always people whose faces i don’t recognize or can’t see. I think they are my subscribers 😉 and i also dream lots of meowing cats. I often try to wake up only to find myself in another dream and will go on like this for usually five or six dreams. It is very scary as i think one day i will give up waking up and just stay on the wrong dream level. Maybe this is the wrong dream level. Maybe i’m in a coma right now. Maybe it’s you who’s in a coma. I bet it’s you. I just want you to know- hang in there- i hope no one pulls the plug on you, and i still own the copyright to these posts.
Thank you for journeying into the Interior of My Magnificent Mind (that’s what i’m calling the ride now). (The ride is the blog post). NO REFUNDS; the time you waste here is wasted forever.