Tag Archives: hypothetical

If I Could Change the World

This morning i woke up powerful. I was ready to hop out of bed and take on the world. I listened to a Portuguese lesson and was very proud of myself because i was finally going to get to work early.

Yup. I was finally going to do it.

Then it started to rain and next thing you know, i’m in an SUV with my husband, who’s driving the wrong way down a one-way street from the backseat. “Watch out for pedestrians,” i said, “when you hit the corner.”

It was a dream, of course. I had fallen back asleep. The version of myself that is a capable cheerful morning person only exists hypothetically. She would only exist if i got out of bed early.

Then all our east coast customers who call ten times in a row before 8 AM would receive satisfactory service and not be moody all day. They would be nice to everyone around them. It would start a chain reaction.

Come to think of it, that is probably why east coast people have a reputation for being too uptight. They get up too early. Then they get upset at all the other parts of the country where the sun hasn’t risen yet. They hurry us up while we’re still trying to blog in our pjs.

Then there’s this daylight savings thing. Who ever thought it would be a good idea for millions of people to collectively lose one hour of sleep? And why do we do it? Why don’t we rebel against the machine?

It is because we depend on the machine. We do not know how to go back to relying on natural instincts like bears and frogs. And when the machine malfunctions, we all blame the other parts.

If all those customers got better service from me as a salesperson, i could change the world. But i won’t, because it’s cold outside.

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Hypothetical Avocado

Hypothetical Avocado
You’re my very best friend.
In the breakfast or in the dinner
You’re more than just make pretend.
I can spread you on
Tortillas
Or I can spread you on
Bread.
I can spread you
On chinchillas
Or even on my own head!
Hypothetical Avocado
Don’t ever dare leave my side.
Many fruits come and go.
They are mere passers-by.
I can’t spread them
On potatoes,
I can’t spread them
On rice.
Hypothetical Avocado!
You’re the
Apple
Of my eyes.