Tag Archives: facebook

The “Stop Blogging” Award

Are you an amateur poet who recently took up writing as a result of a breakup?

Do you see yourself as the protagonist of your own movie script?

Are you passionate about social issues that you research on Facebook but are otherwise oblivious to?

Are you in the habit of liking every post without reading it just to get more page visits on your own blog?

Do you blindfold yourself and then type random characters at your keyboard for several minutes?

If you or someone you know identifies with any of these, please nominate them for my new award:

The Stop Blogging Award.

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This award is designed to give recognition to all sorts of authors, but mostly just the bad ones.

If you’re not sure if you qualify, feel free to private message me and I will pretend to be happy to read what you write.

After all, isn’t that what the WordPress community is all about?

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Uphill Arroyo Verde Park

Long, Long Weekend

The Italian doctor sent me a Facebook friend request.

I was so excited, I didn’t know whether or not to accept it.

Then *poof* just like that, I woke up.

So I’ve had a hell of a week, even though it’s barely Monday, I am counting today as part of last week.

This last week I only slept for a couple hours on 4 separate nights.

Then Thursday at work, our loan broker texts me: “Hi there!! We have our loan approval…”

Five minutes before that, my co-worker’s real estate agent had just texted her that her house is now in escrow.

She was very sad about that since she did not choose to sell the house; the decision was made for her.

So there she was, standing right in front of me, crying, when I get the text that our home loan got approved.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have told her, it was bad timing, but I was excited and she was right there, so I showed her the text and she was happy for me.

Extremely ironic. Extremely awkward.

I texted a few of my closer friends to share in the festivities with me.

The next day while I am getting a cleaning at a dentist’s office where my friends work, literally while I am in the chair, our broker sends me a message that they made a mistake and the loan is not approved.

-_-

I kind of held it under control during the cleaning but then when I was back in the waiting room I was so mad I couldn’t stop crying.

Thankfully my two friends were there to comfort me.

I called my husband and let him know what was going on but he seemed to be taking it a little too well, which was disconcerting.

We tried to go out to dinner that night but he lost all patience with me and after chasing him down in the car and then pretending I was going to divorce him so he’d come back home to talk to me, it turned out he never got the text that said our loan had been approved.

Only I got that text.

I just assumed they had told him too.

That is why he didn’t understand why I was so disillusioned and making such a big deal about our loan broker being dishonest.

I think by then it was like 2 AM.

The birds woke me up at 4:30 AM.

I went back to sleep at 6 AM.

My husband’s alarm woke me back up at 7 AM.

That was Saturday.

Yesterday he got upset at me about something else.

I guess cause supposedly I have really bad timing when bringing up things he hasn’t done.

You mean half an hour before you’re supposed to give a speech isn’t a good time to tell you you still haven’t installed the software you promised me on my Mac?

Well yeah. I can see it now.

But yesterday it seemed perfectly logical.

This bad timing thing seems to be a recurring issue for me.

I am supposed to start Invisalign this week which I guess by blogging about it it kind of defeats the purpose of its being invisible. (‘—‘)

As for the Italian guy- I think I looked at his profile too many times cause now he’s appearing in those little Facebook boxes that say “people you might know.” *0*

If I were to send him a friend request I’m pretty sure he’d accept it, but I am under the impression he’d accept a friend request from a squirrel.

So then I’ll just be lost in a sea of acquaintances, I’ll still be a nobody to him, and it’ll break my heart much like asdfghjkl;.

Heart patch boy and girl
Some people’s approach to relationships.

Even worse would be the alternative to that- the alternate ending in which we fall madly in love with each other and sail away to the moon.

…Because the moon is across the sea.

I guess.

Anyway.

Moving on.

My husband did do something quite grandiose for me today which is that he helped me overcome my fear of steep hills.

No, he didn’t push me down one.

We went hiking and he walked at my pace. …After I texted him to wait up.

I will hereby refer to it as the hike that saved our marriage.

Uphill Arroyo Verde Park
We went up this hill…
Downhill Arroyo Verde Park
…And came down this hill (the scary part). (Because you can’t see the bottom or top from the trail). (Trust me, it’s just scary.)
Random Pig Salsa Tray
Random Pig Salsa Tray

What do you do Wednesday night?

I sit alone here dunking Trader Joe’s Chocolate Coated Chocolate Chip Dunkers cookies into my orange juice.
Typically I would be complaining about my day to my husband while he cooks me dinner, but apparently someone at church did something stupid cause he called me and said he has to stay there til who knows when.

He is more understanding than I am.
I don’t see why his life just can’t revolve around me the way mine revolves around him.
There he must go trying to save the world again.
Or a lost soul.
What about me?
I tried Facebook but no one’s even on it.
Maybe cause I blocked half my friends.
They were kinda boring.
Twitter’s pretty slow today too.
I guess people just have kids and then they have to put them to bed on Wednesdays.
???
Glad that’s not me.
Nope.
I prefer the cookies.
Kids are probably not edible.

Last night I had this fantastic dream that I bioengineered a microorganism that feeds off of the dead or ill part of a plant, disintegrating it, so the rest of the plant survives.
I was so cool.
Why can’t I be like that in real life?
Cool n stuff.
Smart too.

And why do I always fall for guys that are way outta my league?
(Husband included).
Why couldn’t I just have fallen in love with someone ugly?
Then he wouldn’t be popular or successful and we could actually spend time together.
Sure, he’d have to wear a mask, but he could take it off in the dark.

Oh great now I’ve gotten cookie crumbs all over the bed.
At least they’re not baby crumbs.