Must you rub it in?
<runs away crying>
(10 minutes later):
Ok I’m back.
Let’s try again.
When will I be famous?
I thought I already was.
I mean… if I add up my followers I have like… 126.
And I’m not even counting the ones on Tumblr (64).
Ok seriously now.
My friend J. and I used to talk a lot about this.
We’ve always had this idea that one day we’re gonna save the world from something catastrophic.
Not sure what.
I don’t know.
We’ll probably just play air guitar and the monsters will telepathically be able to hear us.
But we’ll play so bad they’ll wanna leave.
Then one will come back and kidnap me.
And J. will die trying to stop it.
On live television.
And that song from Whitney Houston, “One Moment in Time” will be playing in the background.
The news station will set it in.
So… buy my artwork now before I die saving you and then it goes up in value.
If you don’t like any of it you can always commission me.
But no porn please. I don’t do porn. On either side of the camera.
So we can rule out porn star for now.
Written in response to WordPress The Daily Post prompt.